| Insanejournal |
[25 Jan 2010|04:51pm] |
This journal is a back up for my livejournal account.
sooo: the entries here are copied from my lj.
some stuff probably wont make sense but...oh well.
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| a giant with flaming hair and purple earmuffs |
[31 Jan 2009|10:20pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 hungry |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Korn - Hold On |
] |
Started writing in another blog thingy so i kinda forgot about lj... like anyone cares anyway...
I've been wanting earmuffs for years, but for some reason i always forget to buy them... so i thought i'd make 'em instead 8D
( earphones? headmuffs? )
Then i felt the need to bleach my hair :D
( fire, walk with me )
Last summer, i think it was, i got this catalog that had these shoes in it,
i fell instantly in love but my dad said they were too expensive (they cost 379sek which is about $45). so i kept lusting for them until one day i went to the website and checked my "wishlist", where i had put them, and they werent there anymore.
when something gets removed from the wishlist that means its sold out.
it was poop, but they cant sell them forever.
a week or two ago i was looking in this magazine you get with the newspaper and in the clothes section they had a pic of the shoes. but i thought it was weird since they were sold out, so why advertise them? O_o
but i went to the website just in case they had re-stocked them or something. i searched but couldnt find them :( but then! i thought, what if i search for the product number.
so i went looking for the catalog (took forever cus i get so many catalogs X_x). finally found it, typed it in for "direct order" and the shoes were in the shopping cart.
O_o
how can you order shoes that are sold out?
i kept thinking they were gonna say they were sold out during all the ...checkout steps, but they didnt. i thought i would get an email saying they were sold out. but i didnt.
( and then )
And last but not least, bought these cute earrings,
 
little bird cages ^_^ i wish they were round tho, tried putting them together but it didnt really work.
oh well i still like them.
over & out.
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| *phew* |
[08 Jan 2009|10:32pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 accomplished |
] |
Soooooooo today i got up at 4pm (hey i was up all night >_>) and they got here not too long after 5pm.... i was so nervous, i couldnt even eat breakfast.
but i was actually less nervous than i thought i would be. thats good i guess.
"they" were a man and a woman from the social services(is that whats its called? anyone know? i'm having trouble finding the right english word for it) and they were really nice, of course they've met people like me a billion times, so they know how to do it.
i almost cried once, when he asked me what the biggest reason was for ...them coming here today. why i wanted help. and i said it was my parents economy.
and ...idk, i had to fight really hard to hold back the tears. didnt wanna cry in front of them -_-
they asked me what i wanted to do...i said "i dont know"... and they told me i can get welfare, but i have to go and look for a job while i'm on it, which i knew, you cant just get money for not doing anything.
or, it wont be looking for a job right away, apparently there are people who will help me figure out what i can do. and thats great cus i have nooooo idea.
so first i have to go someplace and get some sort of contact person...then i go to the other place to learn how to ...umm.....what happens when you go on a job interview and stuff like that.
and then we'll try to see what job i can do and then i have to look for it..... something like that.
i'm not entirely sure but i'll find out when i go, i guess.
but i have a good feeling about this, as long as i get some money, cus my sister shouldn't be paying for me. i read online that you usually get something like 3.000kronor each month, so if i give most of it to my dad and maybe (not at first but after a while) save a little for myself, maybe i can save up enough to get my teeth fixed *_*
altho that costs about 30.000kr...
i want to do this, http://www.tandlakarvillan.se/skalfasad.aspx
i dont know what they're called in english, veneers?...hmmm... anyway, the teeth in the before picture arent that different from mine. and if i could get them to look like in the after pic...wow, i cant even imagine what that would feel like. to smile like a normal person without being ashamed of my teeth.
i would be the happiest person in the universe.
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| omgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomg |
[08 Jan 2009|04:28am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 anxious |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Tokio Hotel - Hilf Mir Fliegen |
] |
Since about november i've been trying to save up somealot of courage to tell my dad to call the...err...social..welfare..people... social services? i forget what its called but anyway, yesterday i finally did it.
actually, i've been trying to do this since i graduated school ...but since november i've been trying to think "its not a big deal, i can do this"...it's sort of worked.
so he called today and two people are coming over tomorrow at 5pm.
we're gonna talk about my situation and see if i should go on welfare or something.
and..... I AM SO FRIGGIN NERVOUS I AM GOING TO DIE O_O
...no, i'm not nervous....this is nothing, i can handle this.
.......
............
eeeeeeeeeehhhhhh....i'm trying not to think about it but ...its hard. but its good that they can come here, so i dont have to go to them cus i would get sooooooooo nervous on the way there i would probably collapse.
i feel more ..."safe" here at home and i can sit by the computer or watch tv to get my mind off it.
i'm trying to make a Felix gif but i cant concentrate >_<
its really about time i do something...its been 5½ years now...and i know i should've done it long ago but...i wasnt ready i guess. i didnt even know i had social phobia until my friend told me [here] i thought i was just ...weird ._.
Mette, if you see this, i owe you soooo much, if you hadnt told me about it things would've been even worse. it felt really good to see that it had a name and its actually serious and you can get rid of it(not completely maybe but..still).
so thank you ♥
I told my dad not to tell my sister, cus i wanted to tell her myself after they had been here and we had decided what i was gonna do.
it was like the last thing i told my dad...today he talked to my sis and the first thing he does is tell her -_-
he said he didnt hear me say that...yeah right. anyway, my sister has been nagging on me to talk to them alot lately.
she gives us most of her money cus my dad doesnt have enough. but she says she's not getting any tips at work (she's a waitress) because of the crappy economy.
some days before christmas she calls me and she's crying her eyes out. she was begging me to call them but i didnt know what to say to her... i was planning on doing it but ..idk, it felt like i couldnt say it cus then it wouldnt happen, like i would jinx it or something.
oh well, i hope they can help me somehow... my body is starting to give up too, my back hurts and it hurts right above my butt...cus i'm sitting too much -_-
i should go to bed so i'm not sleeping when they get here...that would suck.
I CAN DO THIS I AM NOT AFRAID.
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| icons//gifs |
[06 Aug 2007|12:47am] |
These are some of the icons and gifs i've made.
i'll keep updating this whenever i make more...
If anyone wants to use anything:
animations: please ask.
icons: just let me know you're using them and please give credit. ©
^_^
(very pictureheavy)
( Read more... )
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| linkage |
[24 May 2007|05:14pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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accomplished |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Phantasmagoria - Pixy False |
] |
EDIT @ 080214: I won't upload or re-up any more stuff atm.
---------------------------------------------------------------
( jrock )
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| I suck. |
[30 Nov 2004|02:55am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 aggravated |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Collide - Dreamsleep |
] |
I messed up my MSN. its so annoying. gotta use another messenger and email now.
i downloaded some programs (converter programs) but none of 'em worked so i had to delete them. but, some pop up thingy came up saying if i deleted this and that other programs could get damaged.
this was early in the morning and i hadnt been to bed yet so i was real sleepy. so i just clicked ok to delete everything.
stupid stupid me.
cus now, a DLL file called MSIMG32.DLL is damaged and apparently it has something to do with msn. cant start my messenger. i downloaded the dll file but..that didnt help anything.
and when i went to check my email at hotmail, a pop up saying the file is damaged kept coming up and it screwed everything up. took me forever to read one email.
so i suck.
then another thing, my cd burner (Ahead Nero) can only burn avi or mpg video files (thats why i needed a converter) but for some reason whenever i tried to get a certain avi file over to the...uhh...window where you have the files you're gonna burn, it just shut down the program.
so i thought i'd burn it in RealOne instead. cus there i could get the file over..to that window.
but, then when i put the cd in the dvd player. it didnt work.
and that was my last cd.
crap.
cant do anything right.
*******
( found two old pix. from 2001/02... )
baaah
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| bapple bapple |
[09 Nov 2004|04:33am] |
| [ |
mood |
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annoyed |
] |
Some things that annoy me:
Religion
I am not religious, at all. if anything i'm against it. it only destroys people but hey, you can believe in whatever you want.
Even tho it kills.
---
I was watching the discovery channel tonight and a program called "Trauma" was on, its like "E.R." but in real life. so when they cut people up they really cut people up.
anyway, an old couple was in a car accident. and the husband was in pretty bad shape so when the doctors called for the bloodbank so he could get blood (cus he had lost alot of it), his wife (who was in the same room) started yelling "no blood! no blood!".... if they wouldnt give him blood he would probably die.
why didnt she want them to give him blood?
because they were jehovas witnesses. their religion doesnt allow it, its a ..sin to their god or something.
so both of them died because the doctors couldnt give them any blood.
---
People start wars because of religion. how could anyone be religious when it causes so much hate? i just dont understand it.
and i cringe everytime someone says "god bless you" to me. to them, they mean well..but to me...its not a good thing.
---
"being gay is a sin, its not normal, blah blah blah"...
i read something about MJ, and when he said "i'm not gay, its against my religion"..i seriously wanted to go back in time for when he said that and slap him. not saying he's gay but IF he was he wouldnt be allowed to be because of the religion.
how can people think like that? what if you're deeply religious and you're gay? are you gonna lie to yourself your entire life??
its soooo stupid, ..i dont even have words for how frustrated i get when i think about it.
America
Bush re-elected. ...say what?
HOOOOOOWWWWWW could that happen?? yeah they caught Saddam.... but... what did Saddam have to do with Bin Laden? cus i thought it was him they wanted to catch. with 9/11 and all.
i'm not into politics at all but for some reason i was watching the election on the net. and i honestly thought they would pick Kerry.
but noooooooooooo...
in, what was it..11? i think it was in 11 states they dont allow same-sex marriages now. which brings us back to religion.
"bush will spread gods message"... i'm REALLY glad i'm not part of "gods children".
people cant even decide for themselves who they wanna marry!
these idiots turn something beautiful as love into something bad. why do they feel the need to control people so much? why cant they let them decide for themselves? why is love a "sin"?
i just dont get it...and i'm really glad i dont live there.
so what can we expect from bush? more war, more death, more ignorance and less jobs.
yaaaaaay!
Watermarks on pictures
Ok, so this is not really a serious thing but it still annoys me.
when people take pictures from the net and save them to their website, and then tag the pic with their name. drives me nuts.
Unless you snapped the picture you dont own them. not even if you scanned them from a mag or something.
i've seen the pics i've scanned from books on various sites but i've never thought about tagging them.
even tho the book belongs to me, i didnt write it, i didnt take the picture.
its just selfish of people who do that.
just to promote their site.
its especially bad when the tag is across the face...
luckily i can remove watermarks. but they dont turn out like the original pic. and it takes alot of patience, which i dont have.
bleh
over and out
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| doodle doodle dee |
[03 Nov 2004|12:58am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 mellow |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Stevie Wonder - I Wish |
] |
( Some doodles )
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| oh baaaaaah |
[30 Oct 2004|05:23am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 crappy |
] |
I had just about finished the entry and my STUPID FUCKING CRAP computer gets a "explorer error" so all the windows have to shut down.... AAAARRRRGGGGGHHH!!! 
like i need this..
AAANYWAY, this is what i think i wrote.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Made from http://abi-station.com/
I made 2 of these avatar thingys before but then all of a sudden people on mjjf started doing their avatars so i fell for the pressure and made 3 more.
   
ok so its 4 but the last doesnt really count since its basically the same as the one before (but no background or body).
and i know none of them look like me... but...its really hard to make it look like you. on the first one i'm wearing my new shoes  but i had to paint the socks red, my real socks are actually red/black striped but it was too tiny to make it stripey.
and they all look better on a non black background.
* * * * * * *
( uhh )
* * * * * * *
About the previous entry... i'm over it. pms i guess.
i get these suicidal thoughts every now and then but...oh well. thats life.
i am tired of feeling like crap, but theres not much i can do about it. my sister says i need more love in my life...she's talking about boyfriend love, yeah, i'll just go to the store and buy one... 
sometimes(or most of the time) i wish i could live in my dreams. i have almost the same dream all the time. and there i'm happy. i have friends, i have a job..altho i'm not sure what it is. i go somewhere and i make money but... what i actually do, no idea. that part of the dream is all blurred. which is just great...not! if i knew what job i had in my dreams maybe it would be something i could do in reality lol
but everything is pretty much perfect in my dreams.. except its 20 years back in time and i have no family. i've been in a car accident in 1978 and i lose my memory so i dont know who i am and nobody else does either. so...that part sucks. but the love i get from friends and stuff make up for the love i dont get from family. we go out and have fun and blah blah blah...
but thanks to those who cared when i was feeling low. much love to you 
* * * * * * *
And i'm so annoyed at stupid photobucket, for only allowing you to have 25mb now. i have 110mb! so i cant upload anything cus i cant delete anything (i need my stuff i have there).
so i have to use imageshack where you can only upload one pic at a time. and not have a album. or, you can register there but i tried it twice and i cant get the damn activation link to work.
oh well..
i downloaded MJs song "We've Had Enough", i like it. and i'm glad theres no Janet on it. i liked "Scream" but she sang different in that song. i'm no fan of hers cus, i dont think she can sing very well. and its so irritating, some people seem to think that just because you're a fan of MJ you HAVE TO be a fan of janet... err....no.
and i know i shouldnt download but, i'm gonna buy...or, get, the boxset anyway so what harm will it do if i dl the songs? its not like i'm posting them on my website or anything.
so i've been listening to WHE, scared of the moon, cheater, for all time, on the line, beautiful girl and carousel, which i finally found a good quality version of. found it on the guy who wrote the song's website, http://www.michaelsembello.com
cus i only have "Carousel" in crappy quality, and the one on the "Thriller, Special Edition" isnt the full version(i dont even have that one). so yaaaaay!
and "Cheater" and "WHE" has been played on the radio...on uk and spanish radio. so downloading them isnt really THAT bad(i keep telling myself).
wish MJ had included "For All Time" on the boxset too.
that would've been grand.
well, i'm getting sleepy now so i'll just hit the sack... what a stupid expression anyway, what sack? why would i hit a sack? a sack of what? 
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| die die die my darling |
[23 Oct 2004|10:18pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 sad |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Michael Jackson - Scared Of The Moon |
] |
Had a fight with my parents. because i wanted to have my pens and some cds in a drawer next to the computer, and if i have them there i cant close it.
they wanted it closed.
i said its not a big deal, its just so i have the pens and cds closer to me.
then they started getting all "you dont make decisions here!"
my mom changed the entire livingroom to the way she wanted, i cant even have a fucking drawer open??
then they said stuff about me being a lazy fuck for not getting a job, and this is the best part, if i didnt close the drawer...
they would kick me out!
wtf is wrong with old people?! 
i'm not angry at them for the drawer....even tho they made SUCH a big deal about it, but... when they start saying things like i'm not good for anything.
that makes me sad..
my parents have never been proud of me, always comparing to my sister. cus she was always the nice and good one. still is.
i love my sister but.. i'm not her. i CAN'T be like her.
i just wish my parents would see that.
i'm really really sensitive, and if someone i care about says something mean to me i take it ...the worst way possible.
so imagine how i feel when my parents say mean stuff.
i'm not feeling sorry for myself, i just dont know what i have to live for.
i just wish i could disappear.. stop existing.
that would make everyone happy.
i think about it all the time, why am i still alive? i dont know...
i cant get a job cus i'm too scared of meeting people. i dont even know what kind of job i want...or, could do.
like my parents say, i'm not good for anything. there's nothing i CAN do.
...........
fuck it.
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| b-day part duuuhh |
[11 Oct 2004|07:10pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 happy |
] |
| [ |
music |
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The Crüxshadows - Leave Me Alone |
] |
So today we "celebrated" my birthday.
we didnt last thursday when it actually was my b-day cus i wanted my sister to be here and she had to work so...i waited til today.
and my sister gives the best presents.
( look at what i got here )
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| a quiz |
[01 Oct 2004|07:17pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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crappy |
] |
I made a quiz about me...... ok so the questions are really stupid but.... moo whatever.
Take my Quiz!
O_o
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| me me me meeeeee |
[17 Sep 2004|01:26am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 sleepy |
] |
So i'm copying my friend Mette (and mjeol) by doing this questionaire.
1. Full Name: Sorin. i'll leave it at that.
2. Nicknames: Moose. dont ask.
3. Eye Colour: blue ...i think.
4. Height: 1,75. dunno in american terms.
5. Hair: black.
6. Siblings: 1 sister age 25. i used to have a brother but..... he....dissappeared.
7. Blacked out: I prolly have several times during my depression but...who cares.
8. Birthday: october 7th.
10.Sign: libra.
11. Where you Live: at home.
12. Sex: female (duh).
13. Righty or lefty: leftyyyyyy.
FOR GIRLS TO FILL OUT ABOUT THEIR IDEAL GUY:
14. Boxers or briefs: dont matter...as long as its not a thong.
15. Long or short hair: long. but i like short hair if its curly.
16. Tall or short: tall. since i'm tall.
17. Six pack or muscular arms?: neither. skinny to normal.
18. Good or bad guy: good.
19. Hat or no hat: lol what??
21. Tan or fair: if caucasion, pale.
22. Freckles or none: none.
23. Stubble or neatly shaved: shaved.
24. Rugged or sporty: no idea what rugged means but ...boo for sports.
25. Stud or cutie: if you're in love with a person, you prolly think he's both.
26. Accent or not: uhhhmmmm.... i dont get it..
(27 to 49 was for guys to fill out and since i'm not a guy...)
PREFERENCES
50. Chocolate or white milk: to drink? milk. i always get sick from drinking chocolate.
51. Root beer or dr. pepper: neither, eeeww..
52. Mud or jello wrestling: neither.
53. Sunshine or rain: both i guess....but rain tends to make me all gloomy... so only if its sunshine, then rain is ok.
54. Vanilla or chocolate: both.
55. Skiing or Boarding: snowboardiiiiiingggg!
56. Day or night: night.
57. Summer or winter: both. summer sucks cus its too hot, so if its not too hot then i like it. and winter sucks cus snow get stuck under my boots. so if its loose snow then i like winter.
58. Cake or pie: both.
59. Love or lust: LUUUUSSSST!!!! ....*ahem* i mean, love.
60. Gold or silver: silver.
61. Diamond or pearl: both... but if i HAVE to choose i choose pearls cus i dont have any diamonds but i have pearls.
63. Have you ever gone skinny dipping: nope.
64. Do you sleep with stuffed animals: yes.
65. Have you ever broke/sprained/fractured a bone: i've sprained my toe when i was little but thats it.
66. Do you have any piercing: yup, 3 in left ear, 2 in right (first two of each ear being stretched).
and double labrets.
67. Do you Have a Tattoo: yees, only one tho.
68. Do you sing in the shower: lol no. i would break stuff if i did.
69. Experienced love at first sight: no.
70. What's your favourite colour: black. but i also like dark purple and dark red.
71. What's your favourite band: oooh...i dunno.
72. What do you dream about: weird things.
73. Who are your friends: Mette and Malene.
74. Who is the loudest: i only talk to them on the net so i dont even what their voice sounds like.
75. Who is a cutie that you know: i dunno.
76. Who do you tell your dreams to: no one. no one is interested in hearing my dreams. lol
77. Do you want your friends to do this: this questionaire? yeah sure.
(#78 was a quote so i think the person who i got this from forgot the question lol)
79. What's the funniest thing you said these past few days?: i never say anything funny, i'm boring.
80. What's your favourite flower?: black roses.
81. Where's your favourite place to go?: bed.
83. What's the dumbest thing you've ever done?: hah! like id tell.
84. If you could meet one famous person in this world right now, who?: prolly Michael Jackson.
85. Do you like anybody or anything right now?: uhhhh.... i like my cat...?
86. Do you hate anybody or anything right now?: liars. but when dont i hate them?
=============================================================
well smack me silly and call me chester, i actually made it through the whole thing without getting annoyed. weeeeeee....
*ahem*
soooooo i'm sitting here getting Elvis stuff from Mette so i can burn a cd for my mom. then she can see it on the dvd player.
me and her have been watching MJ & J5 all day today... it was fun.
yes, i know, i am beautiful. 
oh baah, now i'm bored.... and its so friggin cold here! the people who control the heat in this building must be sleeping or something. its not summer anymore!
aaarrrrghhh! ...idiots. 
oh well..i'm gonna go to bed now. who reads this shit anyway?
tata´.
And Remember Kids, 
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contemplative
</center>
okay
